By James J. Hamilton
@luke: toshi station raising prices on power converters = bullshit
@princessleia: Help me, @obiwankenobi. You’re my only hope.
@luke: new artoo unit giving me trouble… these things have more bugs than windows vista
@r2d2: RT @princessleia: Help me, @obiwankenobi. You're my only hope.
@luke: new artoo unit playing a message from a hot chick... i wonder if he has any interracial porn?
@r2d2: www.r2d2.whitechicksblackdicks.com $19.95 per month JOIN NOW
@berulars: My husband beats me
@owenlars: That's because I get no respect around here #bitch #ungratefulbastardnephew
@obiwankenobi: Hey stormtroopers guess what... Those WERE the droids you were looking for! You got pwned lmfao!!!
@moseisleycantina: Happy Hour 5-7. Juri Juice 2 credits. Live entertainment: Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes! NO DROIDS #wedontservetheirkind
@greedo: shoot first & ask questions later #wordstoliveby
@darthvader: I find your lack of tweets disturbing.
@alderaancitizen77: Looking forward to tomorrow! #jetskiing
@tk421: Bad day at work... Some d-bag stole my uniform & I got yelled at for not being at my post
@luke: just saved a princess from execution… i am so gonna hit that
@hansolo: in it 4 da money #cashcashmoney
@jekporkins: taco bell is the shiznit!
@luke: lol han said “let’s blow this thing”
@luke: got a good look a leia’s cleavage when she leaned over to put that medal around my neck… i am so gonna hit that
@c3p0: Is there NO planet in this galaxy that will legalize gay droid marriage?
@r2d2: for the record c3p0 is the bottom
@luke: hoth’s low temps = leia’s hard nips… i am so gonna hit that
@hansolo: the only thing scruffy-looking around here is that bitch’s bush
@admiralozzel: Gonna fuck up some rebs on Hoth today. Surprise is wise! Hey that rhymed!
@captainpiett: Just got promoted!
@hansolo: yes i am actually going into an asteroid field so everybody stfu
@yoda: a whiny bitch my pupil is #kidsthesedays
@lando: Colt 45… It works every time!
@princessleia: What kind of a bullshit response is “I know”?
@darthvader: Don’t believe me? Check this shit out. RT @maury: Darth Vader, you ARE the father!
@luke: new robotic hand MUCH better for jacking off than old one #donotdisturb
@jabbathehutt: in 6 boob heaven right now #alienstrippers
@bobafett: I am such a badass.
@luke: leia in a gold bikini… i am so gonna hit that
@jabbathehutt: i think that rancor salesman ripped me off
@hansolo: sorry no updates recently, was frozen in carbonite... no wi-fi in there
@bobafett: Jet pack malfunction. Stuck in Sarlacc pit. Send help.
@luke: just found out leia is my sister… i am still gonna hit that
@luke: just found out leia follows me on twitter now… shit
@emperorpalpatine: it’s gonna be epic when they realize this is a trap
@admiralackbar: IT’S A TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@emperorpalpatine: lmfao told you #overconfidence
@hansolo: the ewoks helped us win, but could there be anything more annoying?
@jarjarbinks: Meesa Jar Jar Binks! Meesa be usin da computa! #whatwaslucasthinking #hewasnt
@quigon: I try to help people, but a society that elects teenage girls as rulers is just asking for it.
@watto: I heart gambling & slavery
@anakin: that padme chick is hot… i am so gonna hit that
@chancellorpalpatine: I can’t believe they are falling for this shit #evilmasterplan
@countdooku: The world we once knew has changed. You must join me
@anakin: i totally hit that :)
@padmeamidala: Big news… I’m pregnant!
@natalieportman: wtf i didn’t realize lucas was gonna have 8 yr olds writing the dialogue
@macewindu: I have had it with these motherfucking Sith in this motherfucking galaxy!
@anakin: who knew turning to the dark side could be so undramatic?