Tuesday, December 27, 2011

James J. Hamilton Celebrates Hanukkah With Eight Days Of Natalie Portman Pictures

By James J. Hamilton

To celebrate Hanukkah this year, I (a Gentile) used my Facebook page to run an eight day series of pictures of my favorite Jew (the lovely Natalie Portman) with characteristically hilarious captions added by me.  If you don't "like" my Facebook page, what the fuck is wrong with you? here's what you missed:

Day 1:  
I am officially jealous of a chimpanzee.

Day 2:
I want a mustache ride.

Day 3:
"Seriously, I would really want to grab Scarlett's breasts. She's got beautiful ones." - Natalie Portman, with whom I wholeheartedly agree

Day 4:
"You're welcome." - Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky


Day 5:
Hey Obama, I can think of one thing that might convince me to vote for you...

Day 6:
Her seatbelts are fastened and I'm in the full upright position.

Day 7:
If you thought Hillary Clinton was ugly before, wait until you see her standing next to Natalie Portman (PS it must be cold in there).

Day 8:
"Dreams are basically the farts of the mind." - Natalie Portman, Harvard psychology degree-holder and the girl of my mind-farts

Now I can claim there is a semi-legitimate reason for me having at least 8 of the 564 Natalie Portman pictures that are on my computer.

Happy Hanukkah!