Tuesday, December 18, 2012

James J. Hamilton's Second Annual Natalie Portman Hanukkah Celebration

By James J. Hamilton

Last December, I (a Gentile) celebrated the eight crazy nights of Hanukkah by posting eight pictures of my favorite Jew (the lovely Natalie Portman) with hilarious captions written by me (which can be viewed here).  A year has gone by and my hard drive has accumulated over 600 new pictures of Natalie, so here we go again:

Day 1
"Dr. Portman, Mr. Hamilton is here for another prostate exam."

Day 2
Never in my life have I wanted a hand job so badly.

Day 3
Pulp Fiction prequel idea: Natalie plays Walken's character, I play the watch.

Day 4
It's a good thing I wasn't invited to this, because I hear Holocaust boners are frowned upon.

Day 5
Anakin: "The Force tells me one of us will win an Oscar someday."
Amidala: "Yeah... it probably won't be you."

Day 6
I got 99 problems and not being able to get this close to Natalie Portman is one.

Day 7
"James J. Hamilton loves you and will let you go as soon as you say it back."

Day 8
Natalie Portman watching "Comedy Central Presents James J. Hamilton"(This should make you feel really lazy and uncreative about the things you masturbate to)

Happy Hanukkah!