"I thought they smelled bad on the outside." - Surgeon operating on a homeless guy
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine." - Jesus Christ to Pontius Pilate
"Size matters not." - Guys with small penises
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| "I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board." |
"Never tell me the odds!" - Guy who always buys a ton of lottery tickets refusing to admit it's a waste of money
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." - Your priest guilt-tripping you into coming to church more often
"Luke's just not a farmer, Owen." - Someone explaining to a disappointed Owen Wilson that his brother Luke Wilson is never going to play FarmVille with him
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| "You rebel scum." |
"Where are you taking this... thing?" - Movie studio security guard to Sarah Jessica Parker's chauffeur
"We had a slight weapons malfunction." - Kid explaining to his mom why his brother has a BB embedded in his butt cheek.
"It's a trap!" - Out-of-position linebacker realizing that an apparent running play is in fact a play action pass
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| "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." |
"One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner." - Group of friends vowing to take their New Year's resolutions seriously this time
"The circle is now complete." - Kindergartener doing his shape-drawing homework
"You came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?" "He's the brains, sweetheart!" - Someone asking George W. Bush about the Iraq war and Bush responding by pointing to Dick Cheney
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| "This station is now the ultimate power in the universe." |
"There'll be no escape for the Princess this time." - The Pont de l'Alma Tunnel in Paris on August 31, 1997
"You have failed me for the last time." - Comedian deciding he will no longer tell that joke that never gets a good laugh
"Into the garbage chute, flyboy." - Princess Leia ordering me to anally penetrate her (from an awesome dream I had)
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| "He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil." |
"I have a bad feeling about this." - Someone hearing that George Lucas is planning to make the Special Edition
"I have a very bad feeling about this." - Someone hearing that George Lucas is planning to make the prequel trilogy
"Impressive... Most impressive." - You reading this blog
Check out James J. Hamilton's "Star Wars Saga Told Via Twitter Updates"
